How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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