So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
