it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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