it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
