im holly from the hills drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize