she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
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We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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