Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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