It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize