You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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