dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
