What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
