Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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