Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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