Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
