Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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