at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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