WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize