We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
