party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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