I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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