Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
