it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
