I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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