I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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