i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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