he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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