I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
