I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
