Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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