Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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