I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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