so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
