Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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