All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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