It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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