Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
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"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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