there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
