he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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