1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You made out with two different species that night
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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