I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
