i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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