I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
