Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
