life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
