drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
