It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
