Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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