it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
