Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize