Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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