not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
