omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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