HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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