If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
