having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
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The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
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The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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