I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We were destined to go to rehab together
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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