Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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